Kiss

I’m kissing you
Be it because
of the boldness
in my body or
the stubbornness
of my soul.

As our lips
touch I pray you
be proud and
never bitter cold.

For I can
never be prideful
of what I use
to be and but if
this is done right
I will never
be ungrateful for
your heat.

Cliffhangers

A fist may hurt more than words, but regret…
will push you off a cliff. It will not leave a simple scraped knee to be healed by a mother’s kiss. There is no needle to stitch wounds made by landing in a thorny bush.

When you fall…
the clouds will slice your cheek. Moisture will be like stinging spit licking against your burning skin. Bring forth spoil tears that will leave with your stomach sick.

Your mind...
becomes unstable, as the plummeting drop brings you closer to the ground. You have only a second to how you will you should have taken the fist.

Wake

Sing to me,
to me,
to me.
For I am lost. Meticulously
in the details
of this world.

It weighs down
on me with blinding words,
deafening actions,
and tasteless sounds.

I will never
apologize for my
soul that strives
just to be,
to be
to be

But I can’t escape
her, my alluring muse. For
I am just a simple single moiety
standing outside the gates of resting
trying to reach through.
Trying to grab a dream.

So instead
of more wondering,
I ask just to
please sing me
back to sleep,
to sleep,
to sleep.

2:54 am

Its comforting
to look up into
the face of the
night sky.

Peering with
nocturnal eyes
at and with

each untouchable star
I open myself little more
And pray
during each sight

to see the dippers
elegant tilt.
Anticipating the pour,
steadly poised

to wash away
the lingering mud
of troubled days
and lonely nights

its a new day

Final Portfolio Piece

Mudlove Glue

She was born from a union
Broken and drowned and rushed.

Pushed through a baby gap of a young mistake.
What could have been a birth done on the white sheets of love
was soiled with the mud of feuding blood.

Her and She and He.

Remember her not as the misguided lesbian daughter.
For the past is meant to be left behind her as
she arches and marches forward searching for

Her mate and her master and her bait.

Her spirit is meant to be give to one and only one.
But her body tends to get lost in the muck.
Slugging through many

faces and pleasure and feelings.

Her mud is the glue that connects their hearts
to others when she is done breaking it.

Final Portfolio Piece

Buried in the sea

You look at her
As she looks at you.

And swore if vanity had a face it would be
seen through her eyes.

Her name rolls off the tongue
in a cool seduction that chills your thoughts.

The wicked whispered word
turns your mind into a whirlpool. I was warned

but I wasn’t fast enough to
evade her incoming venom and stop it from spreading.

With slender fingers she buried me,
in her sea of black roses. But left me bathing

in the ground, with my head high enough to stop me
from drowning. As her slowly toxin work its way down

Final Portfolio Piece

Mirrors

Closing eyes to stare at her insides. Searching
for happiness the world refuses to show.

Too sober
To look in the mirror and see herself as pretty.

Not drunk enough
To believe she actually was.

3 bottles later there was a crack in the glass
In the fogged mirrors of the bar's bathroom

it was easier to convince herself she see gazes of envy instead of pity.
Not a drunken mess but a beautiful catastrophe.

Blackness crowds around the edges of her sight.
After few more sips keeping her eyes closed gets easier.

Maybe tomorrow will be different than today
Is always the last thoughts before passing out in the stall.

Moth

She the blind moth

raised by butterflies,
flaps ash wings
in the direction she thinks is the sky.

But clouds arent supposed to rip into her sickly body
and wipe her away like grounded dust
when she is gliding across open surface.

But kiss her gently as she flies by
and cool her body with its misty touch.

It’s hot here, so far from the islands.
The sun fell out of the raining clouds.

Rambling

Where are the questions that provide answers to the truth I seek? The inquiry needs to be sought after. Even though I am afraid to speak. Will I ever find the truth? Is it hidden In the words I cant find? The real riddle is whether blissful ignorance can be something I could live with for the rest of my life or be a statue of regret for eternity.

astronomy class

mercury volcanoes about to explode, and i stand on the edge ready to fall in.

venus don't spin right so it sets me off balance...

with her thick atmosphere wrapped around my head...

i close my eyes to push away the lighheadness

... as i fall face first in to the fire.

And the world kept spinning in the bottle.
Soothing my throat of its dry spell as I take hit after hit.

4:21 am

Pushing you aside when you entered my thoughts at the wrong time
As an author I am not allowed to miss anybody in particular
But your distraction is the unholy sin that I run to when I've been
spending too much time by myself

My 20 year old advice to myself...

Alright. First of all, “20″ is not old. It’s young, quite young actually. You have your whole life out in front of you.

So. On the first topic: GED and such. It is possible to finish high school/go to collage at your age. Go now, because later on, you’ll wish you had finished/gone to collage.

Second. If that’s impossible, try looking for a second job. Make it slightly better then the one you hold now. First of all, if you get fired from either, you have a fall back, and second, you can threaten one with leaving for the other. Waitressing tips (or is it waiterising tips?): be a ‘people person’. Smile tons. Ask them often if they need anything. Talk to them. People like to be talked to.

And finally. It’s ok to be lazy. I myself am remarkably lazy. But you have to struggle through it. Try eating better, sometimes that helps the lethargy. Try going for a run or such.

Good Luck.

--

I think this post is going to be coming in handy for this year. Hopefully it wont become out dated too soon.

Spring Fever unfinished

(cough, cough)
She is poisonous
to insects and birds.
Pesticide dipped berries
they tried to tell me

(cough, cough)
But her face was a garden that had me blossoming.
And I couldn’t shade away
as she melted out of her fur for me with slow
seasoned eases

And sprinkled my lawn with the seeds of black roses.
Now, I am in too deep to be uprooted.
(cough, cough)

ice age

There is an ice age coming again. I look at her eyes see that she relapsed. Wanting the world to view her as a beautiful catastrophe and says to me sobriety makes her cry. I don’t ask for the reason because in shaky hands, forced smiles, and far away expressions I see it clearly frozen in time.

I am...

Get on your feet and walk your damn self to heavens gate. Because I am tired and Because I am weighed down heavily with my own burdens digging into the skin on my shoulders, breaking my back, twisting around my ankles. And yet you still snap...at me like I am some fucking dog.

Oh? okay.

I will come, but dont be surprised when I bite your hand off. Dominance may not run strong in my blood but I am no bodies bitch. I am a Queens daughter so if you dont know you better ask somebody who you be fuckin with.

Raised in the fatherless tribes, so it shouldnt be such a surprise that my pride wont let a man come near me. No matter how empty, there will never be a hole deep enough for your cock to fit inside.

My heart is made to love a woman and because I am sensitive, I need someone who knows how to cry with their face towards the sky.

Watching me, crying with me, as I carry my burdens.

Bug at first sight

Repost of flirt in white dress

I was suddenly rooted in place because I saw that spring
has raked in a new budding interests in the form of Mrs. Ladybug.

My attention was on her black face and red dress
black pumps and red nails as she sat in the sun
drinking nectar tea. Showing vine spreading hips and
floating down breast shaped leaves.

She sprinkled a shy watery smile toward me
when I was thirsty for the whole watering can.

Humming while talking, my ladybug sent dirty messages through a love bird’s song
and it transformed me from a fiery spice into a dull potato.

Weeding and raking away of vermin and pesticides is needed at the head of the flowerbed, And maybe a fresh down pour of rain, or three.

Portishead

Give me a reason to love you,
Give me a reason to be a women
I just wanna be a woman.

Warms pumps scrambling to move away for her walk
Give me a reason be....

Just wanna be...Free.

Not going to stop her from being the man.
I just wanna be a women.
I wanna be so...so...So!

Treat me like a fucking women.

unfinished

she was the colored lines on white paper, infatuated with infatuation. Nothing left. All gone. All alone. finding herself reciting the same old poems.

Looking for people that would care. Just to turn around and see no one there. Loneliness taking over her world. Standing in a prison with no bars. Keep escaping but don't get far. Keep wondering how with no guards.

Divine Comedy

Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita
mi ritrovai per una selva oscura
ché la via diritta era smarrita.

In the middle of our life's walk
I found myself in a dark wood
for the straight road was lost.

Dante

12:49 am

Perfection tightly wraps its stems around her mind but she cant help but to feel Failure pricking at her brain.

Words

Her body didnt feel like concentrating, it was stuck in her throat. Conversation were following her around like a pathetic cough, filled with cigarette smoke. Swarming in word pollution, she is carried over the bridge and spread all over the terrain of vast places and faces...

Quiet and mellow thanks to the hit after hit. She is indifferent.

Feels at times tongue tied so its best to keep silent.