Ascension Pioneers

"Purification, cleansing and purging on all levels of our Being is essential on this journey of Self ascension. This includes physical detox through drinking pure water, getting lots of sunshine, spending time in Nature, rising our vibration through sound and Light patterns, eating healthy and raw organic Light foods, etc.

Mental purging consists of speaking, writing and acting only through love, not the ego, choosing to respond instead of react, observing our thoughts through conscious observation and non judgment.

Emotional purification includes practicing forgiveness and compassion until there is no more need to forgive, for the Heart is open at all times, and we become pure embodiment of Divine Love. Spiritual purging consists of always seeing things from a higher perspective, reaching towards our Angelic Self and connecting to I AM Presence, with the assistance of invoking the sacred Violet Flame of purification and transmutation, as well as any other rays and energies within the highest Light of One!

When we purify on all the levels, we become a pure vessel for Spirit! Welcome in your New Self … your only true Self!"

Variation of Yohji Yamamoto

I think perfection is ugly. I rather like the scars, distortions, failures, and disorders that reminds me of beauty in the human journey. –Variation of Yohji Yamamoto

I live...

For the little world in my head. For the way I don't have any idea what I'm going to do with my life For my lost, but happy soul, for every emotion I feel, for every morning coffee and every sleepless night. For the seasons in my heart, for my fears and everything I want to say, but I can't. For the fire in your eyes and the movement of your fingers and for the ways you slowly complicate my life.

Pantheist Credo

1. We revere and celebrate the Universe as the totality of being, past, present and future. It is self-organizing, ever-evolving and inexhaustibly diverse. Its overwhelming power, beauty and fundamental mystery compel the deepest human reverence and wonder.

2. All matter, energy, and life are an interconnected unity of which we are an inseparable part. We rejoice in our existence and seek to participate ever more deeply in this unity through knowledge, celebration, meditation, empathy, love, ethical action and art.

3. We are an integral part of Nature, which we should cherish, revere and preserve in all its magnificent beauty and diversity. We should strive to live in harmony with Nature locally and globally. We acknowledge the inherent value of all life, human and non-human, and strive to treat all living beings with compassion and respect.

4. All humans are equal centers of awareness of the Universe and nature, and all deserve a life of equal dignity and mutual respect. To this end we support and work towards freedom, democracy, justice, and non-discrimination, and a world community based on peace, sustainable ways of life, full respect for human rights and an end to poverty.

5. There is a single kind of substance, energy/matter, which is vibrant and infinitely creative in all its forms. Body and mind are indivisibly united.

6. We see death as the return to nature of our elements, and the end of our existence as individuals. The forms of “afterlife” available to humans are natural ones, in the natural world. Our actions, our ideas and memories of us live on, according to what we do in our lives. Our genes live on in our families, and our elements are endlessly recycled in nature.

7. We honor reality, and keep our minds open to the evidence of the senses and of science’s unending quest for deeper understanding. These are our best means of coming to know the Universe, and on them we base our aesthetic and religious feelings about reality.

8. Every individual has direct access through perception, emotion and meditation to ultimate reality, which is the Universe and Nature. There is no need for mediation by priests, gurus or revealed scriptures.

9. We uphold the separation of religion and state, and the universal human right of freedom of religion. We recognize the freedom of all pantheists to express and celebrate their beliefs, as individuals or in groups, in any non-harmful ritual, symbol or vocabulary that is meaningful to them.

The 12 Laws of Karma

Karmic Painting by Horacio Cardozo

 

1. THE GREAT LAW - As you sow, so shall you reap. This is also known as the Law of Cause and Effect. Whatever we put out in the Universe is what comes back to us. If what we want is happiness, peace, friendship, love…Then we should BE happy, peaceful, loving, a friend. Negative energy sent out to others will come back to you 10 fold
2. THE LAW OF CREATION - Life doesn’t just HAPPEN, it requires our participation. We are one with the Universe both inside and out. Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state. BE and DO yourself what you want to have in your life.
3. THE LAW OF HUMILITY - What you refuse to accept, will continue for you. If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence.
4. THE LAW OF GROWTH - Wherever you go, there you are. For us to GROW in Spirit it is WE who must change and not the people, places or things around us. The only given we have in our lives is OURSELVES, and that is the only factor we have control over. When we change who and what we are within our heart, our life changes too.
5. THE LAW OF RESPONSIBILITY - Whenever there is something wrong, there is something wrong in me. We mirror what surrounds us and what surrounds us mirrors us: we must take responsibility for what is in our life.
6. THE LAW OF CONNECTION - Even if something we do seems inconsequential, it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected. Each step leads to the next step and so forth and so on. Someone must do the initial work to get a job done. Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance-they were both needed to accomplish the task. Past, Present, Future…they are all connected…
7. THE LAW OF FOCUS - You can’t think of two things at the same time. You should climb up a ladder on step at a time. When you lose your focus you let in insecurities and anger.
8. THE LAW OF GIVING AND HOSPITALITY - If you believe something to be true, then sometime in your life you will be called upon to demonstrate that truth. Here is where we put what we SAY that we have learned into PRACTICE.
9. THE LAW OF HERE AND NOW - Looking back to examine what was prevents us from being totally in the HERE AND NOW. Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, old dreams…Prevent us from having new ones.
10. THE LAW OF CHANGE - History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.
11. THE LAW OF PATIENCE AND REWARD - All Rewards require initial toil. Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil. True joy follows doing what we’re suppose to be doing, and waiting for the reward to come in it’s own time.
12. THE LAW OF SIGNIFICANCE AND INSPIRATION - You get back from something whatever you’ve put into it. The value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it. Every personal contribution is also a contribution to the Whole. Lack luster contributions have no impact on the Whole or work to diminish it.

3:49 AM Skygazer

You dont know her 

untill you've seen her at 3:49 am.

Watch her stare across the Sky's body

Settled on the Earth

and lost in space of the Night's eyes

Do you know how to relate to her as she confides to the stars? Because who eles is there to speak with? The stars and the moon is a constant in her life and always will be. Unlike the lovers and friends that are vibrant and warm in her presence but poignant and cruel with the absense. 

Do you know now why she cries? Her fate as all other humans is to live passionate and exciting but quick lives. Love quickly, cry quickly, smiles, dance, embrace, praise, and encourage quickly. Can moments spent in her loneliness be truly understood by others and can anyone but a loner truly understand what it is like to be a star? 

Runaway fast as you can

This one here's for the douche bags
This one here's for the assholes
This one here's for the scumbags
Every one of them that I know

This ones here's for the childless mothers
and the alcoholic fathers.
This ones here's for the brothers with misunderstood sisters
and the sister with insane brothers.

For the blind man that sees heaven
and the skeletons in the convicts closet.
For the celibate pedo
And the fatherless nun.
And the loosing football team

This one is for the bald chemo child
and the playground bully with low self esteem
This one here is for the class clown
without a best-friend.
For the second place prom queen

For the manic-depressed desk-worker at the office with his
cornflower blue tie and dead end job
And for the 2nd year collage counter girl at the cafe
down the street who's pregnant test just turned pink.

This one is for the rebels without a cause
and for the rebels with a cause
For the dirty red politic and the dirty blue politic
For the idiotic bank executives
And for the naive nation.

This one is for the rained on bench
and the dust that settles after the settlers
For the aching labor pains
and the still smoking coughing 30 years old pothead.

This one here is for the deaf man that sings hymns
and for the people who drives in circles from home to work
from work to home and repeat
This one here is for the ones that are stuck on repeat

This one here is for that couples favorite make out song
and for the divorcees living in hotels
For the sterile newly weds
and for the hoarding, spying neighbor

For the solder's mother
and the fire-man's wife
This one here is for the 17 year old convict
and the 84 year old convict also

This one here is for the Haitians earthquakes
The Japanese Tsunami
And the Indian Ocean Tsunami too
The Orleanan's Katrina
The Guantanamo Bay Prisoners water-boards
For the Tangshan earthquake
And for China's flood
For the immigrants and refugees
For the child solder's

This one here is for the street solder's too
This one here is for the only child
and for the youngest.
For the introverted smart kid in the back with just two friends
one of them being imaginary.
and for the lonely extroverted social butterfly.

This is for the ones who have to deal with the single to
its complicated status updates
and for the ones who have no new messages
for the past four days

For everyone
thats been puttin' up with shit on shit for just way too long
I think it's time for us to have a toast
Let's have a toast for the douche bags
Let's have a toast for the assholes
Let's have a toast for the scumbags

You guys know what do right?
If you dont then all you have to do is
ask someone who knows the plan.

In some we see

I have an headache
From sleeping in the sun for
too long.

Trying my hardest to dream my life away
For I am the daughter who longs to
Return to the dark womb

To take the place of her stillborn sister
And have only undeveloped dreams
Of the chilled outside world.
Unaware of demons, gods, angels, saints, and spirits
Unaware of expectations you didn't want
Lover you desperately need

But I am 20 years too late with my request
Said mother because there is no way your getting your
ass back in.

But I was relentless and determined and tired
I ask, well can't you take me in your arms instead?
Let me rest my head against your bare chest
And sway me to sleep?

I still think till this day I broke her heart
She saw herself in my broken sadness.
And saw that she couldn't fix me because
She was fighting, battling, and tossing and turning
herself

The next night mother wore her favorite light blue
nightgown, and went to sleep hanging from the ceiling.

Now I am stuck alone
with 20 years of experiences
20 years of unrest and
20 years of living a still death.

So far only being able to find
3 ultimates trues of life

1. That the most intimate place to kiss a women
is on the Inside of her wrist
In between the creases because
No two lips coming together
Will ever be sacred again

2. Empathy is a weapon
Ignorance is the gun
And the target is man

And I have been walking around
With the biggest fucking target painted red
On my forehead.

3. There are three kinds of insomniacs in the world
Those who won't fall asleep
Those who can't fall asleep
And those who can't stay asleep.

The frustration lay in knowing you
Can and knowing you can't at the same time

I am slowly, writing again.

Its cynical and self-adsorbed. Nostalgic by nature, often too focused on past experiences. But that is nothing new.

This type of writing can lead me to deeper insights or to downward spirals of melancholy and/or painful unresolved feelings. Now dont that sound just fucking great? But solution number one: Dont think about it. Suppression is not the cure but the wound, being covered with a sticky band aide.

Its only brief relief, but that moment is all one needs to become distracted. With kisses and presence. Yay, physical distractions.

Canvas and lies

The red paint splashed on her, trying to dry, its way permanent to the skin. Dripping from red hair on to my cheeks seeping into the between and betwixt
In each crease did I feel it tickle down.

Today was red. The drugs unfortunately enhanced the hues. And afterwards I was still sicken with red. Ugly staining red. It smelled of death and decay. Putrid with its presence on my flesh.

Bright fucking red. Powerful and obtrusive. It was until I was given green, and blue and orange. Purples, and yellow, yes sweet sickening yellow I miss you also. More than lavender, and black, silver, white and amber.

Pink, indigo, Oh god, magenta and lilac.

Finally! I took a shower and watched it wash down the drain. No more red. Red. Red. Red Trying to dry, dry, dry its way permanent on my skin.

intertwine

In this world, this life.
Exist both happiness and strife
So interchangeable that my muse must
guides me.

Inside my chest, and out my mouth
flows emotions that makes me smile wildly,
despite tomorrow wondering doubts.

rambling/ hidden, noble, roam

I hate being interrupted. But when I say interrupted I dont mean it in the conventional way that associates interference with interruption.

Really interruption isnt the right word to describe what I am talking about but its close. I feel it can be better explained as I feeling of irritation when the flow of my life is put on paused with forces that is outside of my control and take me out of my comfort zone. Whether its a conscience doing or not. Routine also isnt the right word to describe my life but its also close.

When the familiar beat or rhythm of life wraps its security blanket around me. I must be aware that it can act as both my savior and executioner. For my intuition is always going to tell me to stay walking along the predicted road. Stay hidden in inclusive to avoid collision.

But sometimes I need to get off that path to roam and view new interesting sceneries. How will I ever experience life to the fullest if I dont. But that is easier said that done. Obviously. But Im still young and growing so no need to be in a rush to explore this noble world.

Origins of the preference

okay so all the personality thinking and testing made my mind drift off to sexuality. Crazy enough I believe it was in my psychology class that the professor said that the human sexuality wasnt a choice but a preference. It has nothing to do with gender or sex, so nothing physical.

I am incline to believe this explanation over if a person was born gay or choose to be. Its a preference something that can develop early in the stages of life or later. However, I am still torn between the debate on whether that preference is conscience decision or sub conscience.

I kind of feel like this is just one of those things that falls parallel to the nature versus nurture thing. Because if it happens later in life as a conscience decision that I am incline to believe its a nurture thing but sub-conscience it could be nurture.

Being comfortable with my sexuality, for me personality it dont matter if it was nature or nurture, conscience or sub-conscience. I am indifferent. But wait, why cant it be both, a gray area for the hypothetical situations. Or is there some mysterious third circle in the diagram that is the unknown factor. I dont know really I havent gotten that far yet.

Lost

Still have the want and the drive. Flame still burning but dont know the direction to travel through the darkness. Young still with great potential. Feeling old because of the shit we have been through.

"Fuck stories I want accomplishments" Quote of the day.

Hope, where are you? Cried the lone growing man.

Final Portfolio Piece

Mudlove Glue

She was born from a union
Broken and drowned and rushed.

Pushed through a baby gap of a young mistake.
What could have been a birth done on the white sheets of love
was soiled with the mud of feuding blood.

Her and She and He.

Remember her not as the misguided lesbian daughter.
For the past is meant to be left behind her as
she arches and marches forward searching for

Her mate and her master and her bait.

Her spirit is meant to be give to one and only one.
But her body tends to get lost in the muck.
Slugging through many

faces and pleasure and feelings.

Her mud is the glue that connects their hearts
to others when she is done breaking it.

My 20 year old advice to myself...

Alright. First of all, “20″ is not old. It’s young, quite young actually. You have your whole life out in front of you.

So. On the first topic: GED and such. It is possible to finish high school/go to collage at your age. Go now, because later on, you’ll wish you had finished/gone to collage.

Second. If that’s impossible, try looking for a second job. Make it slightly better then the one you hold now. First of all, if you get fired from either, you have a fall back, and second, you can threaten one with leaving for the other. Waitressing tips (or is it waiterising tips?): be a ‘people person’. Smile tons. Ask them often if they need anything. Talk to them. People like to be talked to.

And finally. It’s ok to be lazy. I myself am remarkably lazy. But you have to struggle through it. Try eating better, sometimes that helps the lethargy. Try going for a run or such.

Good Luck.

--

I think this post is going to be coming in handy for this year. Hopefully it wont become out dated too soon.

verb equals pain

Verb equals pain.
Just as the water flow out her body
across the bridge and down the faucet equates to her turning away
from the subject reflected across from her
So disgusted.

At a one person party that everyone is invited to. Celebrating life
in the deep depths of the bathroom. The verb
rising and overflows.

Remembering verb equals pain and pain
equals life which is now pouring
down the drain faster than the pouring water rise.
Holding her breath to the music no one can hear.
Because no one showed.
Because life equates to no longer needing to be surprised

looking over the edge

Stuck with a jailbird brother and an out of reach lover. Runaway father with a suicidal mother. Such tragic combinations- what does that say about the daughter? A shower to clean off the dirt on her face, peeling back the dead skin on finger tips to reveal yet another maze of problems.

Buying happiness

Unable to see the thick black line that lies between wants verses needs. There no fleeing from the ordinary and popular world because they want to eat your soul. And you give it to them wanting only that blissful feeling of normality in return. The guarentee security is the blanket that smothers us in our sleep.

We are the regular customer of doing things out of habit. We are all victims. Playing tug of war with selling out vs. change while wading knee deep in our shallow superficiality.

Dual thoughts

She cant remember the sound of her own voice. Self diganosed insane with a touch of hope. But she is a poet so its makes sense and it can be justified without evidence.

---

She was pregnant. Feeling the body of her child move and form is inspiring. Her a single mother. Was she scared? No. Mostly just tired- so very tired. Imgaining it growing inside her, sometimes that specific thought does frighten her, beause it leads to thinking that no one will love her children but her.

Giving birth to poetry every day. They were all bastards in every possible way. Sometimes they came with lupus, deformed and in pain others with perfect health. But she loved each one, even if she has forgotten about them years later.