Portrayed

Painting picture of being emotional.
Stubborn if left alone.
Comprehend the smile of sweetness.

Thinking of deviousness.

May 17,

What should I read next?? The street by Ann Petry

What it is to be a
Fuck up?

Cunning and emotionally destructive with lies thick like honey. Too sweet to resist. We cant even restrain ourselves. But it is especially alluring to the newly made butterflies, who unlike us is not used to the flith. Whom are the easiest to corrupt.

We fuck up are addictives, the glorfied heroine and drunken escapes of the gutter world.

The sweet deviousness of it all is what makes it all worthwhile.

June 28

She has protector stamped across her back!
Even though the thought had warmth pooling in the pits my stomach and my chest fluttering. What is this? Could she protect me? Could I allow her to? Its not an easy question to answer but time will only tell.

I am tired of looking at my phone waiting for no one to call me.

I want to hear this sound.
Her voice.

Stumble but Words before I her ask. and

I delete everything before the period at least 3 times.

Never completing the sentence always rewriting.

rewriting

rewriting.

The shapes appears over my head. Clouds of interests that came from stories, once thought to be dreams reach so deep inside the haze I can feel my ideas swimming around my eyes when I stick my hand in.

I am known to wonder around in my icy dust of crystallite beauty. Freezing portrayed of each face, moment, and words. I think my perception is off by a decent size margin to make me...eccentric to others.

---

I am not going to sit and watch falling stars. Make a wish. I just wonder what happens to all the broken wishes when they have fallen out the sky.

This cig and pen feels the same in between my fingers. resting, delicately and just the right ways.

Balanced and patient with me, during the time of stress. Releasing me temporarily from the clutches of being a deaf bird. Trapped in the mind of a free bird.

Draft

My mind is at peace while the world is out of order.

Live some
days and die
some nights.

Never being able
to forget
is redemption.
Going through life.

Her life,
Her voice,
Her sight,

In no one else eye but mine, I need to keep a view on whats in front of me. Nothing ever dwells long within me. I am beyond complex even to myself.

Its haunting to see myself in my actions better than most. But remembering to connect those thoughts and actions is much harder to do.

When that day comes I will be relieved at last.

Is it mean to want to call people one-trick-ponies?

check list

journalism



CJR 270 - News Reporting II
CJR 290 - Journalism History
CJR 364 - Article Writing
CJR 365 - Advanced Editing
CJR 366 - Arts Reporting and Criticism
CJR 368 - Broadcast News I
CJR 380 - Special Topics
CJR 390 - Technical Writing
CJR 399 - Independent Study
CJR 454 - Community Reporting
CJR 465 - Issues in Journalism
CJR 466 - Free-lance Journalism
CJR 481 - Investigative Reporting
CJR 482 - Broadcast News II
CJR 490 - Internship

Creative Writing

Any two 200-level literature (ENG) courses

WRT 320 - Intermediate Poetry Workshop
WRT 420 - Advanced Poetry Workshop
ENG 330 - Studies in Fiction
WRT 330 - Intermediate Fiction
WRT 430 - Advanced Fiction Workshop

Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet. ~Judith Martin

But can you really define what morality and immorality? And why they could be used?

First day of summer 3 Poems a day prompt.

Coversation.

Fat people scare me.
I told my parents this and proceeded to laugh my ass off.
When their jaws dropped

down to their stomachs,
two set of lips twisted up back up at me.
With loud reply hot on their tongues.

But I interrupted!

I then look them in the face and said
because fat people worry me.

Sore body and exhausted minds makes for good sleep. Very good day.

Shower

Worn clothes, damp with sweat falls to the ground. She was too tired to let modesty delay her by grabbing a towel.

Bare feet and chill bumps traveled on hardwood floors and caressed warm skin. Peach fuzz hair tickled her in all the right places from the rooms breeze.

As she stood under the spray, lather in sweet soap and dirt. She basked in the falling water and let her mask wash down the drain along with it.

results so far...

introverted, intuitive, feeler, judging

Huge results on
introverted feeler
and
extravorted intuitive

Lead (Dominant) Process
Extraverted Intuiting (Ne): Exploring the emerging patterns. Wondering about patterns of interaction across various situations. Checking what hypotheses and meanings fit best. Trusting what emerges as you shift a situation’s dynamics.

Support (Auxilliary) Process
Introverted Feeling (Fi): Staying true to who you really are. Paying close attention to your personal identity, values and beliefs. Checking with your conscience. Choosing behavior congruent with what is important to you.

----------
My interpretation:

I proceed better in a situation by organizing than making a decision. Judge our feelings on the situation. Not percieve the situation than feel.

versus

Perceiving how I focus my attention and gather information. I tend to drift off and ramble with my thoughts.

Definition:

Cognitive Process Basic (Passive) Use Developed (Active)

extraverted Thinking (Te) Follow steps, points and time tables. Create structure, reason by measures and evidence, and implement complex plans.

introverted Thinking (Ti) Adhere to definitions and impersonal principles. Analyze a problem using a framework, and find an angle or leverage by which to solve it.

extraverted Feeling (Fe) Honor others' needs and preferences. Connect with people by sharing values and taking on their needs as yours.

introverted Feeling (Fi) Adhere to personal beliefs about what's important. Evalute situations and choose what you believe is congruent with your personal identity.

Perceiving—how we focus our attention and gather information

extraverted Sensing (Se) Notice sensory data in the environment. Trust your instincts and take action relevant to the moment and current context.

introverted Sensing (Si) Recall tangible data and experiences. Stabilize a situation by comparing it to what is expected, known and reliable.

extraverted Intuiting (Ne) Notice abstract patterns as they emerge. Shift a situation's dynamics and explore imaginative potential possibilities.

introverted Intuiting (Ni) Receive "ah-ha" insights and realizations. Persue a greater level of awareness to transform who you are and how you think.


My cognitive process from excell the best at to the least.
infj:catalyst:[Ne]>[Fi]>[Si]>[Te]>[Se]>[Ni]>[Ti]>[Fe]

Your Cognitive Development Profile
The forty-eight questions you rated earlier tap into the eight cognitive processes. Some questions tapped into basic or developed use of a process used by itself, while other questions tapped into use of multiple processes at once. The profile below is based on your responses. The number of squares indicate strength of response. The equivalent numeric is shown in parentheses along with likely level of development.


Cognitive Process Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)

extraverted Sensing (Se) *************************** (27.2)
average use
introverted Sensing (Si) ********************************* (33.3)
good use
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ************************************** (38.4)
excellent use
introverted Intuiting (Ni) ************************* (25.9)
average use
extraverted Thinking (Te) ******************************* (31.2)
good use
introverted Thinking (Ti) ************************ (24.2)
average use
extraverted Feeling (Fe) ************************ (24)
limited use
introverted Feeling (Fi) *********************************** (35.4)
good use

temperament

People of the Catalyst™ Temperament . . .
Want to be authentic, benevolent, and empathic. Search for identity, meaning, and significance. Are relationship oriented, particularly valuing meaningful relationships. Tend to be idealistic and visionary, wanting to make the world a better place. Look to the future. Trust their intuition, imagination, and impressions. Focus on developing potential, fostering and facilitating growth through coaching, teaching, counseling, and communicating. Generally are enthusiastic. Think in terms of integration and similarities and look for universals. Often are gifted in the use of metaphors to bridge different perspectives. Usually are diplomatic. Frequently are drawn to work that inspires and develops people and relationships.

Needs and Values
The core needs are for the meaning and significance that come from having a sense of purpose and working toward some greater good. They need to have a sense of unique identity. They value unity, self-actualization, and authenticity. People of this temperament prefer cooperative interactions with a focus on ethics and morality. They tend to trust their intuition and impressions first and then seek to find the logic and the data to support them. Given their need for empathic relationships, they learn more easily when they can relate to the instructor and the group.

Talents
They tend to be gifted at unifying diverse peoples and helping individuals realize their potential. They build bridges between people through empathy and clarification of deeper issues. They use these same skills to help people work through difficulties. Thus, they can make excellent mediators, helping people and companies solve conflicts through mutual cooperation. If working on a global level, they champion a cause. If working on an individual level, they focus on growth and development of the person.

the 3 c's

Complaining.
Criticizing.
Condemning.

These are known as the 3 C's. The question; can you live without them? Before you answer, this isn't just a matter of you not complaining, condemning, or criticizing others, but living without those three things within your own mind and self talk. Can you do it?

I've been challenging myself to live without using the 3 C's with others and myself and I have been amazed how often in the average day I have such negative thoughts. In fact, nearly all my thinking falls within one of these three.

To develop positive thinking, you are suppose to replace these things with their positive equivalent.

Appreciation for situations, views, and people simply for the opportunity to experience them.

Instead of complaining, you are suppose to find the good in the situation. Instead of criticizing, you are suppose to find the good in the point of view. Instead of condemning, you are suppose to find the good in the person.

It takes a lot of effort to relinquish negative judgment of others and yourself. It may even be impossible. However, a negative attitude is a useless attitude. It serves no purpose aside from distancing yourself from others and stressing yourself out for being less than perfect. A positive attitude is rational. You empower yourself and others.

So do you think you could do it?

i am a walking breathing living contradiction...

its irritating.

Pills and Skills draft 2

This poet
held denial in her trembling hands
as the doctor said she will have to be under
for the rest of her life.

That what she was giving me
was not a cure but a suppressant.

I felt reluctant
I could break under the side effects.
Loose myself just like last time


Writing.
My lifeline. My existing salvation.
The one thing that used to help
isnt enough.

Because the symptoms are too great and
I cant ignore them anymore.

Even if I write it all down.
Store them in a box on the back shelf, and bottle it away.
Next to my new prescription pills.

The words I write are still going to be there.
Unreadable to most due to the shaking from fingers tips
that refuse to still.