She tried to wake up. Memories of last night becomes a de'vu. A cause of ennui or petty annoyance coated with abstraction. Knocking on the door of consciousness trying to come in. Lost in all knowledge of everything except...
Being bored
Sunday, August 23, 2009
self hatred
Closing eyes to stare at her insides. Searching for the happiness life decides not to bring. Too sober to look in the mirror and see herself as pretty. Definitely not drunk enough to believe that lie. Not yet at least.
3 bottles later.
She wrote sins all across her face until it was unrecognizable. Easier to disguise gazes of pity for envy. Such a fucking mess. And yet so very beautiful.
Blackness crowds around the edges of her sight and she is anxious by the display. A few more sips and slurs and staying conscience getting harder to fight.
Maybe tomorrow will be different than today....
Always were her last thoughts before she passed out into the night.
3 bottles later.
She wrote sins all across her face until it was unrecognizable. Easier to disguise gazes of pity for envy. Such a fucking mess. And yet so very beautiful.
Blackness crowds around the edges of her sight and she is anxious by the display. A few more sips and slurs and staying conscience getting harder to fight.
Maybe tomorrow will be different than today....
Always were her last thoughts before she passed out into the night.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Arms and Walls
He painted his thoughts on the wall. Hoping if the words were elsewhere, the urges would decrease. For he was bored with seeing the same blood and scars.
Sadly, the words looked even more empty on the white walls then when they were written on the inside of his arm.
He sighed in heavy defeat.
Sadly, the words looked even more empty on the white walls then when they were written on the inside of his arm.
He sighed in heavy defeat.
Drunken vices and virtues
Her vices has a vice-script hold on her drunken soul. She loved lowering her inhibitions so when she was high enough, she could wave as they fly over her head. Thinking of lies yet to be told she kissed her, him, she and her again.
Always fun to herself...but not so much to others. Especially when runing low on rum and coke. Never a quiter just more resigned. She is her mothers cookie cutter daughter. A budding grape compared to fine wine.
Taking all her follies to bed with her and making sweet lust in a wakeful dream. All temperance getting lost in between clean sheets. Pretending to be the fool can only last for so long before guilt gets thrown up. Prayers to the lush Gods in sexy moans, painful screams and torn hurls.
Deep in her toxic vacation from the sober real world. Slipping slowly and diving further into the Brandy. Quickly finding the familiar fading pain. And spending the night on isolation's lonely shores.
Forgive me?
She asks yet again.
As unconsciousness floats her out to sea.
Always fun to herself...but not so much to others. Especially when runing low on rum and coke. Never a quiter just more resigned. She is her mothers cookie cutter daughter. A budding grape compared to fine wine.
Taking all her follies to bed with her and making sweet lust in a wakeful dream. All temperance getting lost in between clean sheets. Pretending to be the fool can only last for so long before guilt gets thrown up. Prayers to the lush Gods in sexy moans, painful screams and torn hurls.
Deep in her toxic vacation from the sober real world. Slipping slowly and diving further into the Brandy. Quickly finding the familiar fading pain. And spending the night on isolation's lonely shores.
Forgive me?
She asks yet again.
As unconsciousness floats her out to sea.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Tape
Broken, was her name. Solitary blocked her ears from comfort. Memories sealed tight to prevent spills, but could not stop the shattered tears. Grief flowing so free, far from being contained.
Breathing in whiskey sorrow. Diving underneath the influence with grace so slick and smooth. Heart ache too painful for other healings. Giving nothing to look forward into the gray 'marrows.
Loneliness was the tape that had a bitter charm and the power to soothed. As it held her together deep in their arms.
Breathing in whiskey sorrow. Diving underneath the influence with grace so slick and smooth. Heart ache too painful for other healings. Giving nothing to look forward into the gray 'marrows.
Loneliness was the tape that had a bitter charm and the power to soothed. As it held her together deep in their arms.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Bee
Sweet new honey bee, trying to stinging a broken heart. There is poison in the river, with no curing sugar. Pretty flowers kept fallin' in and now they have no more love to give. So the bee's started stinging the heart.
The nectar is all gone and the sea is too watered down. Love is the river, its bitter and burns like arsenic. So she sipped it slow because its all she knows. So sweet little honey bee fly away, before you too drink the poisonous love and start to decay.
The nectar is all gone and the sea is too watered down. Love is the river, its bitter and burns like arsenic. So she sipped it slow because its all she knows. So sweet little honey bee fly away, before you too drink the poisonous love and start to decay.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Désirer de faire l'amour
Her name is the seduction
that rolls leisurely off the tongue
and floats into the air.
If vanity had a look
it would be seen through her eyes.
She is the temptress that whispers
poisonous words in the ears of idle minds,
so Lucifer can play easy.
that rolls leisurely off the tongue
and floats into the air.
If vanity had a look
it would be seen through her eyes.
She is the temptress that whispers
poisonous words in the ears of idle minds,
so Lucifer can play easy.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Clean
The smell of rain, captured and held her raging and self raped psyche. It was like the arms of Mother veiled over all suffering of her wild child and smothered her with protective affection. Battered arms reach above in a mimic embrace, anxious to be rid of a jinxed soul.
Inflicting wounds on herself had become an everyday habit. Such pain can be endured even comforting at times, but it was the pain cause by others that brought the agonizing wish of death. Exposed to the pregnant clouds, stretched and swollen she waited patiently to be baptized.
Inflicting wounds on herself had become an everyday habit. Such pain can be endured even comforting at times, but it was the pain cause by others that brought the agonizing wish of death. Exposed to the pregnant clouds, stretched and swollen she waited patiently to be baptized.
Finally to be cleansed and qualified to love and not lust again was a thought so magnificent, her body trembled under the strong potency of the feeling. Father sun waited for Mother's water to break so he could shine proud rays of love down on his favorite child. A youngling he believed was lost to the lustful and corrupt lunar alliance.
But the smile that painted her face at the first kiss from mother, was enough to cast away all doubts. She became clean.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Blues
He was playing the blues. That day, I remember was normal, boarder lined boring, and ordinary. I was not living that day, only existing. The tone that played from that golden sax was accentuate from a low humming pitch to a brassy whine.
He was very good, this blues man. And I was in awe by his talent. I walked by with a small shy smile, and when he smiled back my whole world opened up and was shinning with glamour. Who ever thought hearing the blues would make me so happy.
He was very good, this blues man. And I was in awe by his talent. I walked by with a small shy smile, and when he smiled back my whole world opened up and was shinning with glamour. Who ever thought hearing the blues would make me so happy.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Rain
Her rain dripping down slowly
Drip.By.Drip.By.Drip.
Seeping inside was only the beginning
As she floated away hidden past
Adsorbing betrayals, a sea so wide and vast
Consuming beyond maximum limit
Drinking in the lust of lush that never quit
Filling ones being fully
Drip...By...Drip
Poisoning slowly
Drip.By.Drip.By.Drip.
Seeping inside was only the beginning
As she floated away hidden past
Adsorbing betrayals, a sea so wide and vast
Consuming beyond maximum limit
Drinking in the lust of lush that never quit
Filling ones being fully
Drip...By...Drip
Poisoning slowly