My mind is at peace while the world is out of order.
Live some
days and die
some nights.
Never being able
to forget
is redemption.
Going through life.
Her life,
Her voice,
Her sight,
In no one else eye but mine, I need to keep a view on whats in front of me. Nothing ever dwells long within me. I am beyond complex even to myself.
Its haunting to see myself in my actions better than most. But remembering to connect those thoughts and actions is much harder to do.
When that day comes I will be relieved at last.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
check list
journalism
CJR 270 - News Reporting II
CJR 290 - Journalism History
CJR 364 - Article Writing
CJR 365 - Advanced Editing
CJR 366 - Arts Reporting and Criticism
CJR 368 - Broadcast News I
CJR 380 - Special Topics
CJR 390 - Technical Writing
CJR 399 - Independent Study
CJR 454 - Community Reporting
CJR 465 - Issues in Journalism
CJR 466 - Free-lance Journalism
CJR 481 - Investigative Reporting
CJR 482 - Broadcast News II
CJR 490 - Internship
Creative Writing
Any two 200-level literature (ENG) courses
WRT 320 - Intermediate Poetry Workshop
WRT 420 - Advanced Poetry Workshop
ENG 330 - Studies in Fiction
WRT 330 - Intermediate Fiction
WRT 430 - Advanced Fiction Workshop
CJR 270 - News Reporting II
CJR 290 - Journalism History
CJR 364 - Article Writing
CJR 365 - Advanced Editing
CJR 366 - Arts Reporting and Criticism
CJR 368 - Broadcast News I
CJR 380 - Special Topics
CJR 390 - Technical Writing
CJR 399 - Independent Study
CJR 454 - Community Reporting
CJR 465 - Issues in Journalism
CJR 466 - Free-lance Journalism
CJR 481 - Investigative Reporting
CJR 482 - Broadcast News II
CJR 490 - Internship
Creative Writing
Any two 200-level literature (ENG) courses
WRT 320 - Intermediate Poetry Workshop
WRT 420 - Advanced Poetry Workshop
ENG 330 - Studies in Fiction
WRT 330 - Intermediate Fiction
WRT 430 - Advanced Fiction Workshop
First day of summer 3 Poems a day prompt.
Coversation.
Fat people scare me.
I told my parents this and proceeded to laugh my ass off.
When their jaws dropped
down to their stomachs,
two set of lips twisted up back up at me.
With loud reply hot on their tongues.
But I interrupted!
I then look them in the face and said
because fat people worry me.
Fat people scare me.
I told my parents this and proceeded to laugh my ass off.
When their jaws dropped
down to their stomachs,
two set of lips twisted up back up at me.
With loud reply hot on their tongues.
But I interrupted!
I then look them in the face and said
because fat people worry me.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Shower
Worn clothes, damp with sweat falls to the ground. She was too tired to let modesty delay her by grabbing a towel.
Bare feet and chill bumps traveled on hardwood floors and caressed warm skin. Peach fuzz hair tickled her in all the right places from the rooms breeze.
As she stood under the spray, lather in sweet soap and dirt. She basked in the falling water and let her mask wash down the drain along with it.
Bare feet and chill bumps traveled on hardwood floors and caressed warm skin. Peach fuzz hair tickled her in all the right places from the rooms breeze.
As she stood under the spray, lather in sweet soap and dirt. She basked in the falling water and let her mask wash down the drain along with it.
results so far...
introverted, intuitive, feeler, judging
Huge results on
introverted feeler
and
extravorted intuitive
Lead (Dominant) Process
Extraverted Intuiting (Ne): Exploring the emerging patterns. Wondering about patterns of interaction across various situations. Checking what hypotheses and meanings fit best. Trusting what emerges as you shift a situation’s dynamics.
Support (Auxilliary) Process
Introverted Feeling (Fi): Staying true to who you really are. Paying close attention to your personal identity, values and beliefs. Checking with your conscience. Choosing behavior congruent with what is important to you.
----------
My interpretation:
I proceed better in a situation by organizing than making a decision. Judge our feelings on the situation. Not percieve the situation than feel.
versus
Perceiving how I focus my attention and gather information. I tend to drift off and ramble with my thoughts.
Definition:
Cognitive Process Basic (Passive) Use Developed (Active)
extraverted Thinking (Te) Follow steps, points and time tables. Create structure, reason by measures and evidence, and implement complex plans.
introverted Thinking (Ti) Adhere to definitions and impersonal principles. Analyze a problem using a framework, and find an angle or leverage by which to solve it.
extraverted Feeling (Fe) Honor others' needs and preferences. Connect with people by sharing values and taking on their needs as yours.
introverted Feeling (Fi) Adhere to personal beliefs about what's important. Evalute situations and choose what you believe is congruent with your personal identity.
Perceiving—how we focus our attention and gather information
extraverted Sensing (Se) Notice sensory data in the environment. Trust your instincts and take action relevant to the moment and current context.
introverted Sensing (Si) Recall tangible data and experiences. Stabilize a situation by comparing it to what is expected, known and reliable.
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) Notice abstract patterns as they emerge. Shift a situation's dynamics and explore imaginative potential possibilities.
introverted Intuiting (Ni) Receive "ah-ha" insights and realizations. Persue a greater level of awareness to transform who you are and how you think.
My cognitive process from excell the best at to the least.
infj:catalyst:[Ne]>[Fi]>[Si]>[Te]>[Se]>[Ni]>[Ti]>[Fe]
introverted, intuitive, feeler, judging
Huge results on
introverted feeler
and
extravorted intuitive
Lead (Dominant) Process
Extraverted Intuiting (Ne): Exploring the emerging patterns. Wondering about patterns of interaction across various situations. Checking what hypotheses and meanings fit best. Trusting what emerges as you shift a situation’s dynamics.
Support (Auxilliary) Process
Introverted Feeling (Fi): Staying true to who you really are. Paying close attention to your personal identity, values and beliefs. Checking with your conscience. Choosing behavior congruent with what is important to you.
----------
My interpretation:
I proceed better in a situation by organizing than making a decision. Judge our feelings on the situation. Not percieve the situation than feel.
versus
Perceiving how I focus my attention and gather information. I tend to drift off and ramble with my thoughts.
Definition:
Cognitive Process Basic (Passive) Use Developed (Active)
extraverted Thinking (Te) Follow steps, points and time tables. Create structure, reason by measures and evidence, and implement complex plans.
introverted Thinking (Ti) Adhere to definitions and impersonal principles. Analyze a problem using a framework, and find an angle or leverage by which to solve it.
extraverted Feeling (Fe) Honor others' needs and preferences. Connect with people by sharing values and taking on their needs as yours.
introverted Feeling (Fi) Adhere to personal beliefs about what's important. Evalute situations and choose what you believe is congruent with your personal identity.
Perceiving—how we focus our attention and gather information
extraverted Sensing (Se) Notice sensory data in the environment. Trust your instincts and take action relevant to the moment and current context.
introverted Sensing (Si) Recall tangible data and experiences. Stabilize a situation by comparing it to what is expected, known and reliable.
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) Notice abstract patterns as they emerge. Shift a situation's dynamics and explore imaginative potential possibilities.
introverted Intuiting (Ni) Receive "ah-ha" insights and realizations. Persue a greater level of awareness to transform who you are and how you think.
My cognitive process from excell the best at to the least.
infj:catalyst:[Ne]>[Fi]>[Si]>[Te]>[Se]>[Ni]>[Ti]>[Fe]
Your Cognitive Development Profile
The forty-eight questions you rated earlier tap into the eight cognitive processes. Some questions tapped into basic or developed use of a process used by itself, while other questions tapped into use of multiple processes at once. The profile below is based on your responses. The number of squares indicate strength of response. The equivalent numeric is shown in parentheses along with likely level of development.
Cognitive Process Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
extraverted Sensing (Se) *************************** (27.2)
average use
introverted Sensing (Si) ********************************* (33.3)
good use
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ************************************** (38.4)
excellent use
introverted Intuiting (Ni) ************************* (25.9)
average use
extraverted Thinking (Te) ******************************* (31.2)
good use
introverted Thinking (Ti) ************************ (24.2)
average use
extraverted Feeling (Fe) ************************ (24)
limited use
introverted Feeling (Fi) *********************************** (35.4)
good use
The forty-eight questions you rated earlier tap into the eight cognitive processes. Some questions tapped into basic or developed use of a process used by itself, while other questions tapped into use of multiple processes at once. The profile below is based on your responses. The number of squares indicate strength of response. The equivalent numeric is shown in parentheses along with likely level of development.
Cognitive Process Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
extraverted Sensing (Se) *************************** (27.2)
average use
introverted Sensing (Si) ********************************* (33.3)
good use
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ************************************** (38.4)
excellent use
introverted Intuiting (Ni) ************************* (25.9)
average use
extraverted Thinking (Te) ******************************* (31.2)
good use
introverted Thinking (Ti) ************************ (24.2)
average use
extraverted Feeling (Fe) ************************ (24)
limited use
introverted Feeling (Fi) *********************************** (35.4)
good use
temperament
People of the Catalyst™ Temperament . . .
Want to be authentic, benevolent, and empathic. Search for identity, meaning, and significance. Are relationship oriented, particularly valuing meaningful relationships. Tend to be idealistic and visionary, wanting to make the world a better place. Look to the future. Trust their intuition, imagination, and impressions. Focus on developing potential, fostering and facilitating growth through coaching, teaching, counseling, and communicating. Generally are enthusiastic. Think in terms of integration and similarities and look for universals. Often are gifted in the use of metaphors to bridge different perspectives. Usually are diplomatic. Frequently are drawn to work that inspires and develops people and relationships.
Needs and Values
The core needs are for the meaning and significance that come from having a sense of purpose and working toward some greater good. They need to have a sense of unique identity. They value unity, self-actualization, and authenticity. People of this temperament prefer cooperative interactions with a focus on ethics and morality. They tend to trust their intuition and impressions first and then seek to find the logic and the data to support them. Given their need for empathic relationships, they learn more easily when they can relate to the instructor and the group.
Talents
They tend to be gifted at unifying diverse peoples and helping individuals realize their potential. They build bridges between people through empathy and clarification of deeper issues. They use these same skills to help people work through difficulties. Thus, they can make excellent mediators, helping people and companies solve conflicts through mutual cooperation. If working on a global level, they champion a cause. If working on an individual level, they focus on growth and development of the person.
Want to be authentic, benevolent, and empathic. Search for identity, meaning, and significance. Are relationship oriented, particularly valuing meaningful relationships. Tend to be idealistic and visionary, wanting to make the world a better place. Look to the future. Trust their intuition, imagination, and impressions. Focus on developing potential, fostering and facilitating growth through coaching, teaching, counseling, and communicating. Generally are enthusiastic. Think in terms of integration and similarities and look for universals. Often are gifted in the use of metaphors to bridge different perspectives. Usually are diplomatic. Frequently are drawn to work that inspires and develops people and relationships.
Needs and Values
The core needs are for the meaning and significance that come from having a sense of purpose and working toward some greater good. They need to have a sense of unique identity. They value unity, self-actualization, and authenticity. People of this temperament prefer cooperative interactions with a focus on ethics and morality. They tend to trust their intuition and impressions first and then seek to find the logic and the data to support them. Given their need for empathic relationships, they learn more easily when they can relate to the instructor and the group.
Talents
They tend to be gifted at unifying diverse peoples and helping individuals realize their potential. They build bridges between people through empathy and clarification of deeper issues. They use these same skills to help people work through difficulties. Thus, they can make excellent mediators, helping people and companies solve conflicts through mutual cooperation. If working on a global level, they champion a cause. If working on an individual level, they focus on growth and development of the person.
Friday, June 18, 2010
the 3 c's
Complaining.
Criticizing.
Condemning.
These are known as the 3 C's. The question; can you live without them? Before you answer, this isn't just a matter of you not complaining, condemning, or criticizing others, but living without those three things within your own mind and self talk. Can you do it?
I've been challenging myself to live without using the 3 C's with others and myself and I have been amazed how often in the average day I have such negative thoughts. In fact, nearly all my thinking falls within one of these three.
To develop positive thinking, you are suppose to replace these things with their positive equivalent.
Appreciation for situations, views, and people simply for the opportunity to experience them.
Instead of complaining, you are suppose to find the good in the situation. Instead of criticizing, you are suppose to find the good in the point of view. Instead of condemning, you are suppose to find the good in the person.
It takes a lot of effort to relinquish negative judgment of others and yourself. It may even be impossible. However, a negative attitude is a useless attitude. It serves no purpose aside from distancing yourself from others and stressing yourself out for being less than perfect. A positive attitude is rational. You empower yourself and others.
So do you think you could do it?
Criticizing.
Condemning.
These are known as the 3 C's. The question; can you live without them? Before you answer, this isn't just a matter of you not complaining, condemning, or criticizing others, but living without those three things within your own mind and self talk. Can you do it?
I've been challenging myself to live without using the 3 C's with others and myself and I have been amazed how often in the average day I have such negative thoughts. In fact, nearly all my thinking falls within one of these three.
To develop positive thinking, you are suppose to replace these things with their positive equivalent.
Appreciation for situations, views, and people simply for the opportunity to experience them.
Instead of complaining, you are suppose to find the good in the situation. Instead of criticizing, you are suppose to find the good in the point of view. Instead of condemning, you are suppose to find the good in the person.
It takes a lot of effort to relinquish negative judgment of others and yourself. It may even be impossible. However, a negative attitude is a useless attitude. It serves no purpose aside from distancing yourself from others and stressing yourself out for being less than perfect. A positive attitude is rational. You empower yourself and others.
So do you think you could do it?
Pills and Skills draft 2
This poet
held denial in her trembling hands
as the doctor said she will have to be under
for the rest of her life.
That what she was giving me
was not a cure but a suppressant.
I felt reluctant
I could break under the side effects.
Loose myself just like last time
Writing.
My lifeline. My existing salvation.
The one thing that used to help
isnt enough.
Because the symptoms are too great and
I cant ignore them anymore.
Even if I write it all down.
Store them in a box on the back shelf, and bottle it away.
Next to my new prescription pills.
The words I write are still going to be there.
Unreadable to most due to the shaking from fingers tips
that refuse to still.
held denial in her trembling hands
as the doctor said she will have to be under
for the rest of her life.
That what she was giving me
was not a cure but a suppressant.
I felt reluctant
I could break under the side effects.
Loose myself just like last time
Writing.
My lifeline. My existing salvation.
The one thing that used to help
isnt enough.
Because the symptoms are too great and
I cant ignore them anymore.
Even if I write it all down.
Store them in a box on the back shelf, and bottle it away.
Next to my new prescription pills.
The words I write are still going to be there.
Unreadable to most due to the shaking from fingers tips
that refuse to still.
too much talking and not enough words
I am really irritated.
I hate violence
but I hate stupidity more.
And
If I had a gun at this moment I would
wish for grapefruit size bullets,
cause sometimes you need it to hurt just a little more.
:)
I hate violence
but I hate stupidity more.
And
If I had a gun at this moment I would
wish for grapefruit size bullets,
cause sometimes you need it to hurt just a little more.
:)
Thursday, June 17, 2010
radiohead jigsaw falling.
I lay my head into the cradle of my arms. Rocking and humming without much thought.
Because what is there to think about? I think making a list of short term goals and acknowledgement will help deflate my tension.
1.
2.
3.
4. ...wow
To the point of resentment, I can taste the acid on my tongue building up, and disgust settle just behind my naval. okay not a good idea.
Im just a step away from not giving a shit. I want a cigarette.
Because what is there to think about? I think making a list of short term goals and acknowledgement will help deflate my tension.
1.
2.
3.
4. ...wow
To the point of resentment, I can taste the acid on my tongue building up, and disgust settle just behind my naval. okay not a good idea.
Im just a step away from not giving a shit. I want a cigarette.
1:11 am
Tonight is going to be long. I cant sleep even though I am in a medicated state of drowsiness. My thoughts wont stay quiet long enough for me to drift off.
I wonder what happened to the time where sleep would hold me all night and most of mornings. Dreams used to be so tender with me, I would long desperately for them throughout the day.
What changed?
Why is it that every time I close my eyes, I see nothing but the blackness of darkness.
Its frustrating. That relief and comfort isnt there anymore. Leaving me to face my isolation without the comforting anticipation of dreams at the end of each day.
This room is too silent and I can hear the taunting of each tick of the clock just as loudly as my own mocking thoughts. The numbers on the digital wink at me out my peripheral vision. Giving red glowing butterfly kisses against my cheeks that burns my temples.
yawn.
The day was chilly so the night is freezing. But I dont move to close the window. I will leave it open. I like to think of it as my looking glass to the outside world that shows me nothing but everything. The big picture of suburbia and minor details of perfectly manicured lawns. Each blade of grass poisoned to be luscious green. When all it probably really wants to do is turn into brittle yellow hay and die.
Its not even that late. sigh.
I wonder what happened to the time where sleep would hold me all night and most of mornings. Dreams used to be so tender with me, I would long desperately for them throughout the day.
What changed?
Why is it that every time I close my eyes, I see nothing but the blackness of darkness.
Its frustrating. That relief and comfort isnt there anymore. Leaving me to face my isolation without the comforting anticipation of dreams at the end of each day.
This room is too silent and I can hear the taunting of each tick of the clock just as loudly as my own mocking thoughts. The numbers on the digital wink at me out my peripheral vision. Giving red glowing butterfly kisses against my cheeks that burns my temples.
yawn.
The day was chilly so the night is freezing. But I dont move to close the window. I will leave it open. I like to think of it as my looking glass to the outside world that shows me nothing but everything. The big picture of suburbia and minor details of perfectly manicured lawns. Each blade of grass poisoned to be luscious green. When all it probably really wants to do is turn into brittle yellow hay and die.
Its not even that late. sigh.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Pills and Skills
This poet held denial in her trembling hands as the doctor said
she have to be under for the rest of her life.
That what she was giving me was not a cure but a clutch.
I felt reluctant to accept. I can break under the side effects.
Loose myself with each and every one of them.
And clutches can be broken just as easily as many pencils. Which
was my existing dosage The one thing that do help but just
isnt enough any more.
But the symptoms at the moment are too great and
I cant ignore the signs anymore. Even if I write it all down.
Store them in a box on the back shelf, and bottle it away. I
still would not be cured, like I used to be.
The words I write are still going to be there. Unreadable to most
due to the shaking from fingers that refuse to sit still and the elaborate
mind of an introvert.
Tremors versus Anxiety.
How was we supposed to know there was something wrong?
she have to be under for the rest of her life.
That what she was giving me was not a cure but a clutch.
I felt reluctant to accept. I can break under the side effects.
Loose myself with each and every one of them.
And clutches can be broken just as easily as many pencils. Which
was my existing dosage The one thing that do help but just
isnt enough any more.
But the symptoms at the moment are too great and
I cant ignore the signs anymore. Even if I write it all down.
Store them in a box on the back shelf, and bottle it away. I
still would not be cured, like I used to be.
The words I write are still going to be there. Unreadable to most
due to the shaking from fingers that refuse to sit still and the elaborate
mind of an introvert.
Tremors versus Anxiety.
How was we supposed to know there was something wrong?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Crying
Is it feasible to smoke the day before my doctors appointment? Well, seeing how this crappy ass week has been going...fuck it why not.
Father dearest wrote me a poem. God, what a dicky thing to do. Knowing I am going to fall for it...damn i wish I could just tell him to fuck off.
But as usual I wont.
Sometimes I wish things wouldnt affect me so much. Im already a mild tempered person, at it takes a lot to upset me. But its the little problems that I keep bottle it all up that turns up sometimes and explosion into emotions so overwhelming...
I dont see crying as a weakness. I know it dont help things by crying but it do make me feel better. Its just I get so piss off at the reasons I am crying about. Like really! I am shedding tears over this!
Drunken fathers dont deserve my tears, nor does hurtful pictures, heart breakers, or loud silences, loneliness beyond words, or cruel sentences.
And I feel foolish.
Sigh, yeah smoking sounds lovely right about now.
Father dearest wrote me a poem. God, what a dicky thing to do. Knowing I am going to fall for it...damn i wish I could just tell him to fuck off.
But as usual I wont.
Sometimes I wish things wouldnt affect me so much. Im already a mild tempered person, at it takes a lot to upset me. But its the little problems that I keep bottle it all up that turns up sometimes and explosion into emotions so overwhelming...
I dont see crying as a weakness. I know it dont help things by crying but it do make me feel better. Its just I get so piss off at the reasons I am crying about. Like really! I am shedding tears over this!
Drunken fathers dont deserve my tears, nor does hurtful pictures, heart breakers, or loud silences, loneliness beyond words, or cruel sentences.
And I feel foolish.
Sigh, yeah smoking sounds lovely right about now.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
2:29 am
All day gray clouds swarms in the sky,
bringing rain past sunset.
During nightfall a blanket,
vast and thick, is sprawled over every star.
No twinkling
diamonds for the children to wish upon,
tonight the moon is being kept where she cant be found.
All there is,
All there is to see
Is poignant beauty of the darkness instead of nostalgic light
As it rains and rains and keep raining
Deep!
Deep into the late night.
bringing rain past sunset.
During nightfall a blanket,
vast and thick, is sprawled over every star.
No twinkling
diamonds for the children to wish upon,
tonight the moon is being kept where she cant be found.
All there is,
All there is to see
Is poignant beauty of the darkness instead of nostalgic light
As it rains and rains and keep raining
Deep!
Deep into the late night.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I dont understand people, no...no thats not right. I have a good insight on others its just I dont understand you, my beloved Father. Its been a while, but I was so happy to see you today.
Even though you were supposed to be here yesterday but thats okay because you came today and lavished me with gifts. Gave praise that would raise any head up high to the world. Bear wide smiles of pride and love. And bestow compliments of my beauty and talent. After all this time.
But I will cry tonight because you were drunk. Again.
Why must you do things like this? Why cant you stay sober for just one day...for me. One funky ass day, is all I asked and even then, its not like I asked for the whole day. I had to go to fucking work! ...I feel so stupid for feeling upset about this.
Fuck! But what makes this even more hilarious is that you will never know how much I hate you right now. God, this is so fucking stupid...What was running through your mind when you thought you could apologize with gifts.
I didnt care! I just wanted to talk to you!
There was a reason I couldnt meet your eye and I can guarantee it wasnt because I was ashamed of myself. God, your such a fuck up!! I am so tired of putting my faith in you! You dont even try. And here I am thinking okay if he aint going to try for himself maybe he will for me.
But now I know better. You dont deserve to be my father. And I think you know it. You have to because there is no other explanation as to why you would push me away so much. Constantly...over and over.
But you know that I will come back like a good little puppy. Looking for just a bit of fuck acknowledgment. Im beyond pathetic. I wish I didnt care. Because looking at how this summer has been going so far...I dont think I can handle another disappointment.
Im so very tired of not understanding.
Even though you were supposed to be here yesterday but thats okay because you came today and lavished me with gifts. Gave praise that would raise any head up high to the world. Bear wide smiles of pride and love. And bestow compliments of my beauty and talent. After all this time.
But I will cry tonight because you were drunk. Again.
Why must you do things like this? Why cant you stay sober for just one day...for me. One funky ass day, is all I asked and even then, its not like I asked for the whole day. I had to go to fucking work! ...I feel so stupid for feeling upset about this.
Fuck! But what makes this even more hilarious is that you will never know how much I hate you right now. God, this is so fucking stupid...What was running through your mind when you thought you could apologize with gifts.
I didnt care! I just wanted to talk to you!
There was a reason I couldnt meet your eye and I can guarantee it wasnt because I was ashamed of myself. God, your such a fuck up!! I am so tired of putting my faith in you! You dont even try. And here I am thinking okay if he aint going to try for himself maybe he will for me.
But now I know better. You dont deserve to be my father. And I think you know it. You have to because there is no other explanation as to why you would push me away so much. Constantly...over and over.
But you know that I will come back like a good little puppy. Looking for just a bit of fuck acknowledgment. Im beyond pathetic. I wish I didnt care. Because looking at how this summer has been going so far...I dont think I can handle another disappointment.
Im so very tired of not understanding.
If you dont use it...
My heart is starving. With nothing but loneliness to chase away my appetite, I watch as the once thriving flesh that was my love wither away.
As I watch my heart become weak and fragile. I am reminded of how it got that way. How silence wrapped its cold hands around my insecurity and instantly cut off all flow.
Leaving behind anger.
As I watch my heart become weak and fragile. I am reminded of how it got that way. How silence wrapped its cold hands around my insecurity and instantly cut off all flow.
Leaving behind anger.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
rambling/ hidden, noble, roam
I hate being interrupted. But when I say interrupted I dont mean it in the conventional way that associates interference with interruption.
Really interruption isnt the right word to describe what I am talking about but its close. I feel it can be better explained as I feeling of irritation when the flow of my life is put on paused with forces that is outside of my control and take me out of my comfort zone. Whether its a conscience doing or not. Routine also isnt the right word to describe my life but its also close.
When the familiar beat or rhythm of life wraps its security blanket around me. I must be aware that it can act as both my savior and executioner. For my intuition is always going to tell me to stay walking along the predicted road. Stay hidden in inclusive to avoid collision.
But sometimes I need to get off that path to roam and view new interesting sceneries. How will I ever experience life to the fullest if I dont. But that is easier said that done. Obviously. But Im still young and growing so no need to be in a rush to explore this noble world.
Really interruption isnt the right word to describe what I am talking about but its close. I feel it can be better explained as I feeling of irritation when the flow of my life is put on paused with forces that is outside of my control and take me out of my comfort zone. Whether its a conscience doing or not. Routine also isnt the right word to describe my life but its also close.
When the familiar beat or rhythm of life wraps its security blanket around me. I must be aware that it can act as both my savior and executioner. For my intuition is always going to tell me to stay walking along the predicted road. Stay hidden in inclusive to avoid collision.
But sometimes I need to get off that path to roam and view new interesting sceneries. How will I ever experience life to the fullest if I dont. But that is easier said that done. Obviously. But Im still young and growing so no need to be in a rush to explore this noble world.
Silence
Have you heard the silent night
The earth is always singing
Praises of the morning sun
Even before the morning
And the whole world is singing of
Its beauty all day long
And even the quiet dark
That silence is a song
Weep not for the day of gray
For the heavens are not weeping
The Roses are still red and gay
They are even blooming
And the whole world is singing of
Its beauty all day long
And even the quiet dark
that silence is a song
that silence is a song
Lizz Wright
The earth is always singing
Praises of the morning sun
Even before the morning
And the whole world is singing of
Its beauty all day long
And even the quiet dark
That silence is a song
Weep not for the day of gray
For the heavens are not weeping
The Roses are still red and gay
They are even blooming
And the whole world is singing of
Its beauty all day long
And even the quiet dark
that silence is a song
that silence is a song
Lizz Wright
Sometimes I really really just want to say
Fuck you
Fuck this job,
fuck your face,
fuck dumb asses,
fuck growing up,
fuck smart ass lil brats,
fuck expensive ass school,
fuck stereotypes,
fuck fake friends,
fuck relationships,
fuck the retarded ass dog
and weird ass cat,
fuck money,
fuck shitty weather,
fuck pms'ing,
fuck deadbeat fathers...
then I just toke a bit and everything becomes tolerable again.
Fuck you
Fuck this job,
fuck your face,
fuck dumb asses,
fuck growing up,
fuck smart ass lil brats,
fuck expensive ass school,
fuck stereotypes,
fuck fake friends,
fuck relationships,
fuck the retarded ass dog
and weird ass cat,
fuck money,
fuck shitty weather,
fuck pms'ing,
fuck deadbeat fathers...
then I just toke a bit and everything becomes tolerable again.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
2:29 am
All day gray clouds swarms in the sky,
bringing rain past sunset.
During nightfall a blanket,
vast and thick, is sprawled over every star.
No twinkling
diamonds for the children to wish upon,
tonight the moon is being kept where she cant be found.
All there is,
All there is to see
Is poignant beauty of the darkness instead of nostalgic light
As it rains and rains and keep raining
Deep!
Deep into the late night.
bringing rain past sunset.
During nightfall a blanket,
vast and thick, is sprawled over every star.
No twinkling
diamonds for the children to wish upon,
tonight the moon is being kept where she cant be found.
All there is,
All there is to see
Is poignant beauty of the darkness instead of nostalgic light
As it rains and rains and keep raining
Deep!
Deep into the late night.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Glass
Everything was so messy.
Words, that once seem articulated and proper now sound broken and repetitive. Sitting at the table the conversation was obviously cracked down the middle.
On one side sat me, being chipped at and grounded down into dust and on the other sat my father with the grinder.
Simplicity was no longer there and in its place a mess. I wonder if the conversation could be clean again without all the stupidity coming from his side of the crack.
Words, that once seem articulated and proper now sound broken and repetitive. Sitting at the table the conversation was obviously cracked down the middle.
On one side sat me, being chipped at and grounded down into dust and on the other sat my father with the grinder.
Simplicity was no longer there and in its place a mess. I wonder if the conversation could be clean again without all the stupidity coming from his side of the crack.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Archetypes
http://www.infj.com/BeebeOnINFJs.htm
Archetypes are thus the powerful symbolic images that inform our view of heroes, wise men, mothers, and villains, among others. We encounter them in many aspects of our daily lives -- in art, religion, movies, and even cartoons! The bad guy invariably dresses in black; the good guy in white (and he is always strong and kind).
Mothers are nurturing, gentle, and protective. The wise man is often portrayed as a white-haired old man with a frail body and peaceful demeanor. These images are recognizable by most of us, and there are strong similarities in these symbols even from one culture to the next.
They are so pervasive that archetypes are anchored in our brain structure and occupy the "middle ground" between mind and matter. Archetypes are what provide the deep structure for human motivation and meaning.
Whenever archetypes are encountered in art, literature, sacred texts, and advertising—or in individuals or groups—they evoke emotional resonance and become the unconscious frameworks that determine how and why people think and react. Pretty powerful stuff, huh?
but I like Anne Singer Harris flow and music to archetypes more.
Archetypes tend to shift shape and flow into each other... This is because archetypes are content-free, patterned tendencies of thought; their qualities overlap, they are not hierarchical, and their symbolic expression is complexly layered.
This is a messy and unpredictable realm in which to wander, and its shiftiness annoys people who like to call a spade a spade and never a shovel. ...To tolerate these conditions, a person must tolerate ambiguity.
Jungian archetypes
For a more analytical psychology approach to archetypes I think the founder of it comes from Carl Jung. Which explains archetypes as
The archetypes form a dynamic substratum common to all humanity, upon the foundation of which each individual builds his own experience of life, developing a unique array of psychological characteristics. Thus, while archetypes themselves may be conceived as a relative few innate nebulous forms, from these may arise innumerable images, symbols and patterns of behavior.
While the emerging images and forms are apprehended consciously, the archetypes which inform them are elementary structures which are unconscious and impossible to apprehend. Being unconscious, the existence of archetypes can only be deduced indirectly by examining behavior, images, art, myths, etc.
They are inherited potentials which are actualized when they enter consciousness as images or manifest in behavior on interaction with the outside world.
Archetypes are thus the powerful symbolic images that inform our view of heroes, wise men, mothers, and villains, among others. We encounter them in many aspects of our daily lives -- in art, religion, movies, and even cartoons! The bad guy invariably dresses in black; the good guy in white (and he is always strong and kind).
Mothers are nurturing, gentle, and protective. The wise man is often portrayed as a white-haired old man with a frail body and peaceful demeanor. These images are recognizable by most of us, and there are strong similarities in these symbols even from one culture to the next.
They are so pervasive that archetypes are anchored in our brain structure and occupy the "middle ground" between mind and matter. Archetypes are what provide the deep structure for human motivation and meaning.
Whenever archetypes are encountered in art, literature, sacred texts, and advertising—or in individuals or groups—they evoke emotional resonance and become the unconscious frameworks that determine how and why people think and react. Pretty powerful stuff, huh?
but I like Anne Singer Harris flow and music to archetypes more.
Archetypes tend to shift shape and flow into each other... This is because archetypes are content-free, patterned tendencies of thought; their qualities overlap, they are not hierarchical, and their symbolic expression is complexly layered.
This is a messy and unpredictable realm in which to wander, and its shiftiness annoys people who like to call a spade a spade and never a shovel. ...To tolerate these conditions, a person must tolerate ambiguity.
Jungian archetypes
For a more analytical psychology approach to archetypes I think the founder of it comes from Carl Jung. Which explains archetypes as
The archetypes form a dynamic substratum common to all humanity, upon the foundation of which each individual builds his own experience of life, developing a unique array of psychological characteristics. Thus, while archetypes themselves may be conceived as a relative few innate nebulous forms, from these may arise innumerable images, symbols and patterns of behavior.
While the emerging images and forms are apprehended consciously, the archetypes which inform them are elementary structures which are unconscious and impossible to apprehend. Being unconscious, the existence of archetypes can only be deduced indirectly by examining behavior, images, art, myths, etc.
They are inherited potentials which are actualized when they enter consciousness as images or manifest in behavior on interaction with the outside world.
Origins of the preference
okay so all the personality thinking and testing made my mind drift off to sexuality. Crazy enough I believe it was in my psychology class that the professor said that the human sexuality wasnt a choice but a preference. It has nothing to do with gender or sex, so nothing physical.
I am incline to believe this explanation over if a person was born gay or choose to be. Its a preference something that can develop early in the stages of life or later. However, I am still torn between the debate on whether that preference is conscience decision or sub conscience.
I kind of feel like this is just one of those things that falls parallel to the nature versus nurture thing. Because if it happens later in life as a conscience decision that I am incline to believe its a nurture thing but sub-conscience it could be nurture.
Being comfortable with my sexuality, for me personality it dont matter if it was nature or nurture, conscience or sub-conscience. I am indifferent. But wait, why cant it be both, a gray area for the hypothetical situations. Or is there some mysterious third circle in the diagram that is the unknown factor. I dont know really I havent gotten that far yet.
I am incline to believe this explanation over if a person was born gay or choose to be. Its a preference something that can develop early in the stages of life or later. However, I am still torn between the debate on whether that preference is conscience decision or sub conscience.
I kind of feel like this is just one of those things that falls parallel to the nature versus nurture thing. Because if it happens later in life as a conscience decision that I am incline to believe its a nurture thing but sub-conscience it could be nurture.
Being comfortable with my sexuality, for me personality it dont matter if it was nature or nurture, conscience or sub-conscience. I am indifferent. But wait, why cant it be both, a gray area for the hypothetical situations. Or is there some mysterious third circle in the diagram that is the unknown factor. I dont know really I havent gotten that far yet.
More and more typing
INFJ - Pattern of Processes Ni, Fe, Ti, Se, Ne, Fi, Te, Si.
dominant—Fe
The process of extraverted Feeling often involves a desire to connect with (or disconnect from) others and is often evidenced by expressions of warmth (or displeasure) and self-disclosure. The “social graces,” such as being polite, being nice, being friendly, being considerate, and being appropriate, often revolve around the process of extraverted Feeling. Keeping in touch, laughing at jokes when others laugh, and trying to get people to act kindly to each other also involve extraverted Feeling. Using this process, we respond according to expressed or even unexpressed wants and needs of others. We may ask people what they want or need or self-disclose to prompt them to talk more about themselves. This often sparks conversation and lets us know more about them so we can better adjust our behavior to them. Often with this process, we feel pulled to be responsible and take care of others’ feelings, sometimes to the point of not separating our feelings from theirs. We may recognize and adhere to shared values, feelings, and social norms to get along.
auxiliary—Si
Introverted Sensing often involves storing data and information, then comparing and contrasting the current situation with similar ones. The immediate experience or words are instantly linked with the prior experiences, and we register a similarity or a difference—for example, noticing that some food doesn’t taste the same or is saltier than it usually is. Introverted Sensing is also operating when we see someone who reminds us of someone else. Sometimes a feeling associated with the recalled image comes into our awareness along with the information itself. Then the image can be so strong, our body responds as if reliving the experience. The process also involves reviewing the past to draw on the lessons of history, hindsight, and experience. With introverted Sensing, there is often great attention to detail and getting a clear picture of goals and objectives and what is to happen. There can be a oneness with ageless customs that help sustain civilization and culture and protect what is known and long-lasting, even while what is reliable changes.
tertiary—Ne
Extraverted iNtuiting involves noticing hidden meanings and interpreting them, often entertaining a wealth of possible interpretations from just one idea or interpreting what someone’s behavior really means. It also involves seeing things “as if,” with various possible representations of reality. Using this process, we can juggle many different ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and meanings in our mind at once with the possibility that they are all true. This is like weaving themes and threads together. We don’t know the weave until a thought thread appears or is drawn out in the interaction of thoughts, often brought in from other contexts. Thus a strategy or concept often emerges from the here-and-now interactions, not appearing as a whole beforehand. Using this process we can really appreciate brainstorming and trust what emerges, enjoying imaginative play with scenarios and combining possibilities, using a kind of cross-contextual thinking. Extraverted iNtuiting also can involve catalyzing people and extemporaneously shaping situations, spreading an atmosphere of change through emergent leadership.
inferior—Ti
Introverted Thinking often involves finding just the right word to clearly express an idea concisely, crisply, and to the point. Using introverted Thinking is like having an internal sense of the essential qualities of something, noticing the fine distinctions that make it what it is and then naming it. It also involves an internal reasoning process of deriving subcategories of classes and sub-principles of general principles. These can then be used in problem solving, analysis, and refining of a product or an idea. This process is evidenced in behaviors like taking things or ideas apart to figure out how they work. The analysis involves looking at different sides of an issue and seeing where there is inconsistency. In so doing, we search for a “leverage point” that will fix problems with the least amount of effort or damage to the system. We engage in this process when we notice logical inconsistencies between statements and frameworks, using a model to evaluate the likely accuracy of what’s observed.
fifth—Fi
It is often hard to assign words to the values used to make introverted Feeling judgments since they are often associated with images, feeling tones, and gut reactions more than words. As a cognitive process, it often serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in. There can be a continual weighing of the situational worth or importance of everything and a patient balancing of the core issues of peace and conflict in life’s situations. We engage in the process of introverted Feeling when a value is compromised and we think, “Sometimes, some things just have to be said.” On the other hand, most of the time this process works “in private” and is expressed through actions. It helps us know when people are being fake or insincere or if they are basically good. It is like having an internal sense of the “essence” of a person or a project and reading fine distinctions among feeling tones.
sixth—Se
Extraverted Sensing occurs when we become aware of what is in the physical world in rich detail. We may be drawn to act on what we experience to get an immediate result. We notice relevant facts and occurrences in a sea of data and experiences, learning all the facts we can about the immediate context or area of focus and what goes on in that context. An active seeking of more and more input to get the whole picture may occur until all sources of input have been exhausted or something else captures our attention. Extraverted Sensing is operating when we freely follow exciting physical impulses or instincts as they come up and enjoy the thrill of action in the present moment. A oneness with the physical world and a total absorption may exist as we move, touch, and sense what is around us. The process involves instantly reading cues to see how far we can go in a situation and still get the impact we want or respond to the situation with presence.
seventh—Ni
Introverted iNtuiting involves synthesizing the seemingly paradoxical or contradictory, which takes understanding to a new level. Using this process, we can have moments when completely new, unimagined realizations come to us. A disengagement from interactions in the room occurs, followed by a sudden “Aha!” or “That’s it!” The sense of the future and the realizations that come from introverted iNtuiting have a sureness and an imperative quality that seem to demand action and help us stay focused on fulfilling our vision or dream of how things will be in the future. Using this process, we might rely on a focal device or symbolic action to predict, enlighten, or transform. We could find ourselves laying out how the future will unfold based on unseen trends and telling signs. This process can involve working out complex concepts or systems of thinking or conceiving of symbolic or novel ways to understand things that are universal. It can lead to creating transcendent experiences or solutions.
eighth—Te
Contingency planning, scheduling, and quantifying utilize the process of extraverted Thinking. Extraverted Thinking helps us organize our environment and ideas through charts, tables, graphs, flow charts, outlines, and so on. At its most sophisticated, this process is about organizing and monitoring people and things to work efficiently and productively. Empirical thinking is at the core of extraverted Thinking when we challenge someone’s ideas based on the logic of the facts in front of us or lay out reasonable explanations for decisions or conclusions made, often trying to establish order in someone else’s thought process. In written or verbal communication, extraverted Thinking helps us easily follow someone else’s logic, sequence, or organization. It also helps us notice when something is missing, like when someone says he or she is going to talk about four topics and talks about only three. In general, it allows us to compartmentalize many aspects of our lives so we can do what is necessary to accomplish our objectives.
THE PRIMARY PROCESSES
Introverted iNtuiting: Foreseeing implications, transformations, and likely effects
Extraverted Feeling: Connecting and considering others and the group
Introverted Thinking: Analyzing, categorizing, and evaluating according to principles
Extraverted Sensing: Experiencing and acting in the immediate context.
THE SHADOW PROCESSES
Opposing
Extraverted iNtuiting: Interpreting situations and relationships and pickup meanings and interconnections to other contexts
Introverted Feeling: Valuing and considering importance, beliefs, and worth
Extraverted Thinking: Segmenting, organizing for efficiency, and systematizing
Introverted Sensing: Reviewing and recalling past experiences and seeking detailed data
There is an inner drive to grow, to become more aware.
Not only did Jung observe the eight functions, he also noticed and described the inner drive to grow and become more conscious. This drive often gets blocked by the stresses of life and sometimes by the expectations of other people. However, it continues to press us forward toward our dreams.
dominant—Fe
The process of extraverted Feeling often involves a desire to connect with (or disconnect from) others and is often evidenced by expressions of warmth (or displeasure) and self-disclosure. The “social graces,” such as being polite, being nice, being friendly, being considerate, and being appropriate, often revolve around the process of extraverted Feeling. Keeping in touch, laughing at jokes when others laugh, and trying to get people to act kindly to each other also involve extraverted Feeling. Using this process, we respond according to expressed or even unexpressed wants and needs of others. We may ask people what they want or need or self-disclose to prompt them to talk more about themselves. This often sparks conversation and lets us know more about them so we can better adjust our behavior to them. Often with this process, we feel pulled to be responsible and take care of others’ feelings, sometimes to the point of not separating our feelings from theirs. We may recognize and adhere to shared values, feelings, and social norms to get along.
auxiliary—Si
Introverted Sensing often involves storing data and information, then comparing and contrasting the current situation with similar ones. The immediate experience or words are instantly linked with the prior experiences, and we register a similarity or a difference—for example, noticing that some food doesn’t taste the same or is saltier than it usually is. Introverted Sensing is also operating when we see someone who reminds us of someone else. Sometimes a feeling associated with the recalled image comes into our awareness along with the information itself. Then the image can be so strong, our body responds as if reliving the experience. The process also involves reviewing the past to draw on the lessons of history, hindsight, and experience. With introverted Sensing, there is often great attention to detail and getting a clear picture of goals and objectives and what is to happen. There can be a oneness with ageless customs that help sustain civilization and culture and protect what is known and long-lasting, even while what is reliable changes.
tertiary—Ne
Extraverted iNtuiting involves noticing hidden meanings and interpreting them, often entertaining a wealth of possible interpretations from just one idea or interpreting what someone’s behavior really means. It also involves seeing things “as if,” with various possible representations of reality. Using this process, we can juggle many different ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and meanings in our mind at once with the possibility that they are all true. This is like weaving themes and threads together. We don’t know the weave until a thought thread appears or is drawn out in the interaction of thoughts, often brought in from other contexts. Thus a strategy or concept often emerges from the here-and-now interactions, not appearing as a whole beforehand. Using this process we can really appreciate brainstorming and trust what emerges, enjoying imaginative play with scenarios and combining possibilities, using a kind of cross-contextual thinking. Extraverted iNtuiting also can involve catalyzing people and extemporaneously shaping situations, spreading an atmosphere of change through emergent leadership.
inferior—Ti
Introverted Thinking often involves finding just the right word to clearly express an idea concisely, crisply, and to the point. Using introverted Thinking is like having an internal sense of the essential qualities of something, noticing the fine distinctions that make it what it is and then naming it. It also involves an internal reasoning process of deriving subcategories of classes and sub-principles of general principles. These can then be used in problem solving, analysis, and refining of a product or an idea. This process is evidenced in behaviors like taking things or ideas apart to figure out how they work. The analysis involves looking at different sides of an issue and seeing where there is inconsistency. In so doing, we search for a “leverage point” that will fix problems with the least amount of effort or damage to the system. We engage in this process when we notice logical inconsistencies between statements and frameworks, using a model to evaluate the likely accuracy of what’s observed.
fifth—Fi
It is often hard to assign words to the values used to make introverted Feeling judgments since they are often associated with images, feeling tones, and gut reactions more than words. As a cognitive process, it often serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in. There can be a continual weighing of the situational worth or importance of everything and a patient balancing of the core issues of peace and conflict in life’s situations. We engage in the process of introverted Feeling when a value is compromised and we think, “Sometimes, some things just have to be said.” On the other hand, most of the time this process works “in private” and is expressed through actions. It helps us know when people are being fake or insincere or if they are basically good. It is like having an internal sense of the “essence” of a person or a project and reading fine distinctions among feeling tones.
sixth—Se
Extraverted Sensing occurs when we become aware of what is in the physical world in rich detail. We may be drawn to act on what we experience to get an immediate result. We notice relevant facts and occurrences in a sea of data and experiences, learning all the facts we can about the immediate context or area of focus and what goes on in that context. An active seeking of more and more input to get the whole picture may occur until all sources of input have been exhausted or something else captures our attention. Extraverted Sensing is operating when we freely follow exciting physical impulses or instincts as they come up and enjoy the thrill of action in the present moment. A oneness with the physical world and a total absorption may exist as we move, touch, and sense what is around us. The process involves instantly reading cues to see how far we can go in a situation and still get the impact we want or respond to the situation with presence.
seventh—Ni
Introverted iNtuiting involves synthesizing the seemingly paradoxical or contradictory, which takes understanding to a new level. Using this process, we can have moments when completely new, unimagined realizations come to us. A disengagement from interactions in the room occurs, followed by a sudden “Aha!” or “That’s it!” The sense of the future and the realizations that come from introverted iNtuiting have a sureness and an imperative quality that seem to demand action and help us stay focused on fulfilling our vision or dream of how things will be in the future. Using this process, we might rely on a focal device or symbolic action to predict, enlighten, or transform. We could find ourselves laying out how the future will unfold based on unseen trends and telling signs. This process can involve working out complex concepts or systems of thinking or conceiving of symbolic or novel ways to understand things that are universal. It can lead to creating transcendent experiences or solutions.
eighth—Te
Contingency planning, scheduling, and quantifying utilize the process of extraverted Thinking. Extraverted Thinking helps us organize our environment and ideas through charts, tables, graphs, flow charts, outlines, and so on. At its most sophisticated, this process is about organizing and monitoring people and things to work efficiently and productively. Empirical thinking is at the core of extraverted Thinking when we challenge someone’s ideas based on the logic of the facts in front of us or lay out reasonable explanations for decisions or conclusions made, often trying to establish order in someone else’s thought process. In written or verbal communication, extraverted Thinking helps us easily follow someone else’s logic, sequence, or organization. It also helps us notice when something is missing, like when someone says he or she is going to talk about four topics and talks about only three. In general, it allows us to compartmentalize many aspects of our lives so we can do what is necessary to accomplish our objectives.
THE PRIMARY PROCESSES
Introverted iNtuiting: Foreseeing implications, transformations, and likely effects
Extraverted Feeling: Connecting and considering others and the group
Introverted Thinking: Analyzing, categorizing, and evaluating according to principles
Extraverted Sensing: Experiencing and acting in the immediate context.
THE SHADOW PROCESSES
Opposing
Extraverted iNtuiting: Interpreting situations and relationships and pickup meanings and interconnections to other contexts
Introverted Feeling: Valuing and considering importance, beliefs, and worth
Extraverted Thinking: Segmenting, organizing for efficiency, and systematizing
Introverted Sensing: Reviewing and recalling past experiences and seeking detailed data
There is an inner drive to grow, to become more aware.
Not only did Jung observe the eight functions, he also noticed and described the inner drive to grow and become more conscious. This drive often gets blocked by the stresses of life and sometimes by the expectations of other people. However, it continues to press us forward toward our dreams.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Relapse pt 2
She thought about her yesterday and yet again today. Snippets. Of them dancing. subtlety was never her strong point, but it was adorable to watch.
She was so drunk off the world they created. Slight swaying side to side they danced, in the tiny room. Around each other in conversations. Pillow talk. Drawn out others time. Light from the window shining in to her eyes. She have memories of drowning in those eyes.
Tomorrow will bring holding hands and letting go.
--
"How can love be so kind and gentle then turn and be so cold? And why must my arms be so empty for what my heart still holds." -Musiq Soulchild
Playing now
Musiq Soulchild Mary-go-round
She was so drunk off the world they created. Slight swaying side to side they danced, in the tiny room. Around each other in conversations. Pillow talk. Drawn out others time. Light from the window shining in to her eyes. She have memories of drowning in those eyes.
Tomorrow will bring holding hands and letting go.
--
"How can love be so kind and gentle then turn and be so cold? And why must my arms be so empty for what my heart still holds." -Musiq Soulchild
Playing now
Musiq Soulchild Mary-go-round
Stand By Me
Oh this shit is gonna be my fucking wedding song maybe. Actually there are a few but this is in the fucking tops. Pure fucking poetry Ben.