Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Crying

Is it feasible to smoke the day before my doctors appointment? Well, seeing how this crappy ass week has been going...fuck it why not.

Father dearest wrote me a poem. God, what a dicky thing to do. Knowing I am going to fall for it...damn i wish I could just tell him to fuck off.

But as usual I wont.

Sometimes I wish things wouldnt affect me so much. Im already a mild tempered person, at it takes a lot to upset me. But its the little problems that I keep bottle it all up that turns up sometimes and explosion into emotions so overwhelming...

I dont see crying as a weakness. I know it dont help things by crying but it do make me feel better. Its just I get so piss off at the reasons I am crying about. Like really! I am shedding tears over this!

Drunken fathers dont deserve my tears, nor does hurtful pictures, heart breakers, or loud silences, loneliness beyond words, or cruel sentences.

And I feel foolish.

Sigh, yeah smoking sounds lovely right about now.